Getting swept up in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this through to the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the wonder of the afternoon (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Before me, may be the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. A blue sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could see how easy it is always to be so swept up in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views can be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So swept up are we in the drama of our lives that we sometimes fail to notice how blue may be the sky or green would be the trees roughly white may be the bikini. Our bodies might physically take the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to trust our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when actually they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't note that drama keeps us in the problem of the past within our present. Kept restricted to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can study on new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A dilemma is really a deep and very personal story of what the "event" designed to us. It can be an engineered story of the "what is" giving the "what is" a personal meaning. An illustration: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a low rider races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The reality of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The personal story or drama which you created at that moment can be "What a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not a sufficient driver. Now we take the event personally. Another reality: your better half walks from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" from drama is to recognize the difference between what's reality and what's drama. Reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I obtained divorced). Drama is our personal story, the main reason, we make-up of how the event affects us and what it methods to our lives (My boss is really a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to produce meaning in everything that takes place in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the event since it is (I no longer have a job) minus the drama.
I am aware easier said then done. Sometimes it's in the story and the non-public meaning behind it that produces life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in a never ending cycle, the event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations despite years of the initial occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anybody who doesn't text me right me right away in the future must mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to develop into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at age it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are manufactured by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the actual issues. We reach awaken from the drama whenever we accept the fact we've the ultimate capacity to change our lives. If we are able to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to create a positive spin on the same event. Change the thought and emotions into something positive that will empower us and inspire others and consequently we reach get back control in our lives. By accepting the event as what it's will free us from the emotional bond since it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be done by writing out a listing of what's happening without attaching the emotions associated with it. In the case of losing a job your list might include:
1. I have now been fired
2. I no longer have a job
3. I will have to find a brand new job
4. I haven't any income
5. I have little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The important points have presented itself in ways as possible address each issue to produce solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will enable you to detach from the drama so that you will have a way to see your daily life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel an outside observer in the events letting you effectively, clearly and without any judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of the big creeds that enable its members to raised handle their lives. Inside, it states: "Acceptance is the solution to any or all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable in my experience, and I can find no serenity until I accept that individual, place, thing or situation to be precisely the way it's allowed to be as of this moment."
